Posts by individuals wife

14

no kids policy

by Daisymay in

has anyone else heard of the org.

convincing couples not to have children since this world is so "evil" and armagedon was coming so soon and why not wait until after it is over?.

many new couples were told this and those families that kept conceiving were talked about behind their backs.... daisy

I heard that this policy was about in the 1940s, the JWs were encouraged (or told) to not have children in this system but to wait for the new one to come. I just wonder how many couples now regret heeding that advice and are left childless in their old age. Real shame.

I always felt that the society didnt particularly like children anyway, there was always the feeling that the kids should be seen and not heard, unless they were up on the platform doing an item on the school. They had to sit quietly, listen, take notes, colouring in was frowned upon, worldly story books in the hall were definitely a no no. How could a child be expected to look at the Childrens Book of Bible Stories week after week after week and not get fed up?

They could not mix with 'worldly' kids - too much danger of them having fun, no out of school clubs - Brownies - no chance, Guides - got to be joking, football club - cant be competitive. What did they have to look forward to - field service.... the embarressment of having to call on their school friends when they should be out playing footie in the park.

The elders used to look on with horror as all the little kids came into the hall to go out on the service during the school holidays... well, what else were we to do with them? The elders used to hate having to drag other peoples kids around. One made his displeasure blatently obvious one day, never ever took them out with me again.

I was also very surprised at the lack of enthusiasm in the congregation when a sister became pregnant - I'm sure the elders just saw it as an extra burden, another bawling baby at the back of the hall.

Poor kids, what we put them through. I just hope that now I have left my kids will grow up happy and well balanced. I'm sure they have a better chance now that they are given the freedom to be themselves.

2

Precious Things

by individuals wife in

jw
friends

i was feeling very low today as i realised it is now nearly six years since my wonderful father passed away.

he was only 42 and meant so much to me, i still think about him every day, and it still hurts so much that i cant just pick up the phone and talk to him, pop over to his house with cream cakes or just sit down by the sea and talk over my problems with him.. the jws are responsible for making my grief just that little bit worse, when i was studying with them they told me to get rid of anything in the house that would be displeasing to god, in my desire to do what was required of me i searched through the house, got rid of some bible literature and some other little odds and ends.... also my cruxifix.

i now regret that so much, it was one of the only things that my father ever gave to me just from him, not from my mother also.. how i regret that now, if only i could turn the clock back and stop myself, i was so eager to do what i was told, to make sure i was in a good standing with god.

individuals wife

I was feeling very low today as I realised it is now nearly six years since my wonderful father passed away. He was only 42 and meant so much to me, I still think about him every day, and it still hurts so much that I cant just pick up the phone and talk to him, pop over to his house with cream cakes or just sit down by the sea and talk over my problems with him.

The JWs are responsible for making my grief just that little bit worse, when I was studying with them they told me to get rid of anything in the house that would be displeasing to God, in my desire to do what was required of me I searched through the house, got rid of some bible literature and some other little odds and ends.... also my cruxifix. I now regret that so much, it was one of the only things that my father ever gave to me just from him, not from my mother also.

How I regret that now, if only I could turn the clock back and stop myself, I was so eager to do what I was told, to make sure I was in a good standing with God. How foolish.

I know that a simple necklace is not as important as the wonderful memories that I have of my dad, no-one could ever take those away from me, but I just wish that I had something special of his to keep and maybe pass on to my children. Something that I could hold in my hand and get warm fuzzy feelings from.

I wonder just how many items of sentimental value or even monetary value for that matter have been lost over the years because of their teachings, how many 'demon-possessed' items found their way into the rubbish bin, how many 'items of false worship', how many precious things like mine?

11

Raised as JW

by ReverendRoy in

as a former jehovah's witness i can both empathize and sympathize with you and the many others that have written here.

i apologize for the long post.

although i have posted this under a different heading, commie chris recommended a new toipic, thanks!.

individuals wife

ReverendRoy - A big welcome first of all, good to have you here!

I was very moved by your post especially -

However, when my mother told me that I was the reason my then 1-year-old daughter was going to die, I could no longer take any more. How dare they tell me that the God they believed was all knowing, loving and caring was going to kill my daughter in this “time of the end” because of me or at all.

This brought back memories of what an elder said to my husband a few years ago - Do you realise that if you leave you are giving your children a death sentence? That remark has always stuck with us as it was such a cruel thing to say, we knew that our children were the most important thing in our lives and we would never do anything to hurt them. It was just emotional blackmail of the worst kind. To use the children in that way, as a persuasive lever was disgusting. Needless to say - we no longer attend the meetings.

I really hated the way the society viewed the children, should be seen and not heard, unless they were doing an item up on the platform. Sit still and dont fidget. Dont play with those worldly kids. No after school activities. Field service instead of playing. A real shame, they miss out on a lot. I know that my kids are a lot happier now and will hopefully grow up to be unprejudiced and well balanced grown ups, something that seems to be lacking amongst so many JWs.

Nice to have you here!

6

Life on Mars, Again!

by metatron in

jw
friends

over at yahoo news , it quotes a nasa scientist as.

saying that they misplaced data from the viking.

lander on mars twenty five ago.

individuals wife

Just read this today on Teletext page 316 in the UK..... thought it was along the same lines as the above.....

'BUGS' Prove Life in Space
--------------------------

Living extraterrestrial bugs have been caught on the edge of the atmosphere, scientists have disclosed.

The microbes resemble bacteria found on Earth but the height at which they were found and their distribution indicates they fell from space, say scientists.

If the findings are confirmed it will be the first unequivocal proof that life exists beyond the Earth.

So what do you reckon to that then?? Would be interested to what the JWs have to say about this..... Life does not exist only on the earth as they claim. To me this is very compelling evidence that there is extraterrestrial life, maybe not little green men but still just as exciting! I await more information with excitement!

12

New member

by scotland in

jw
friends

i've been checking out this forum for a while now, and decided it was time to become a member.

anxious to begin adding my 2-cents worth.

good day to all.

individuals wife

Scotland - Good to have you here amongst us, it really is a great place to come, you know you are in good company!

I know you will gain a lot from becoming part of it all and not just sitting on the sidelines, I know I have!

Welcome Aboard!

43

The C.O. and elder came to my house last night!

by Sarah in

jw
friends

please tell me i made the right decision.

last night the co and another elder showed up at our house just 5 minutes after my husband got home from work (i think they were sitting on the side of the road just waiting for him to come home)*stalkers*, anyway to make along story short, the pressure was on.

i felt like they were there to get us to da ourselves.

individuals wife

Dearest Sarah,

My heart really went out to you when I read your post - I am so pleased that you chose to share your experience with us in the realisation that you are not alone and you will find comfort here.

What can I say that hasn't already been said? Just be there for each other, talk to each other, don't keep things bottled up. My husband was a real tower of strength for me when we both left, I'm not sure that I would have coped so well if he wasn't behind me wholeheartedly.
One thing that we found useful and constructive was to go away for a weekend, it may seem like running away but for us it was a chance to re-evaluate our lives, put things in perspective and give us the strength to move on.

I hope you believe me when I say there is life after the organisation, a better life. Go for it and try not to look back.
Best wishes to you both xxxxxxxxxxxx

27

I HAVE BEEN FRAMED !

by Big Jim in

jw
friends

this is the story.

i have been operating a pay-day loan business for almost 2 years now.

i started out in business with a brother who passed away almost a year ago.

individuals wife

Amazing - I apologise if I sound overly judgemental, I just feel that very often these sort of schemes cause more problems than they solve.
I live in an area where wages are very low and a lot of young families have fallen into the trap of borrowing money from people who charge high interest. It is the high interest that causes many of them to default. In desperation I have known some to take out extra loans to cover the original debts thereby increasing the problem ever further.

There is now an alternative here which seems to be working very well and that is the local Credit Union, people can pay into the union when they have a bit to spare and can borrow more against it. Because a lot of the participants know each other they are more likely to honour their debts. A much more friendly concept don't you think?!

27

I HAVE BEEN FRAMED !

by Big Jim in

jw
friends

this is the story.

i have been operating a pay-day loan business for almost 2 years now.

i started out in business with a brother who passed away almost a year ago.

individuals wife

I have seen the devasting effects that these sort of schemes can cause and I find it very distasteful that these poor people can be taken advantage of at a time when they are desperate. Lending money at such exorbitant rates of interest can lead to a ongoing downhill spiral of debt and borrowing more to pay off that debt.

I think it is a shame that people in dire financial straits have to
resort to these measures, all they are doing is making somebody else very rich.

Big Jim - Is this is a Christian way to treat people who are disadvantaged?

7

Looking to the future

by individuals wife in

jw
friends

it was a wonderful hope to be given - to live forever in a paradise earth, never to grow old, never to suffer the aches and pains of an ageing body, to see your family grow generation after generation.

it was a relief not having to worry about how we would survive on an old age pension, who would look after us in our twilight years or how we could manage if we were bereaved and left alone to look after ourselves with failing health.. now that the illusion has been destroyed and reality has set in it has put boundaries on our lifespan on this earth.

we have to look at practicalities, a pension, long term health care, securing a happy and comfortable retirement.

individuals wife

Stephanus -

I love to look at the pictures of paradise in my Christian publications and dream of my little patch of God's green Earth. I'm going to ask for the little farm down the road currently owned by that farmer with the vicious dogs. I'll really enjoy watching the carrion fowl pick his carcass.

I've met JWs with this attitude - makes you wonder how they can call themselves Christian.

One sister even believed that she 'deserved' a nice big palatial house in the new system because of all the 'hard work' she was doing in the field service now. It was as though she thought God owed her something.

I think in these circumstances you have to really examine the motives of people, why are they JWs - just for what they think they will get at the end of it??

7

Looking to the future

by individuals wife in

jw
friends

it was a wonderful hope to be given - to live forever in a paradise earth, never to grow old, never to suffer the aches and pains of an ageing body, to see your family grow generation after generation.

it was a relief not having to worry about how we would survive on an old age pension, who would look after us in our twilight years or how we could manage if we were bereaved and left alone to look after ourselves with failing health.. now that the illusion has been destroyed and reality has set in it has put boundaries on our lifespan on this earth.

we have to look at practicalities, a pension, long term health care, securing a happy and comfortable retirement.

individuals wife

NameWithheld -

And the JW's call this materialistic, all the while planning on taking the nice homes and fancy cars over after Jah kills the owners!

Couldn't agree with you more on that one. I remember working in the field service with people who would go around choosing which luxurious house they would pick for themselves after Jehovah has destroyed the owner, used to make me really cringe. After all these people have worked hard for what they have achieved and the JWs concerned just did not have the motivation to get these things for themselves in 'this system'. Why work hard for it now when you can get it handed to you on a plate after Armageddon?

I think that it is a shame that in the future many JWs will find themselves in a situation of great hardship because they were not encouraged to provide for themselves long term.